She was reeling with the feeling... People give her things all the time, but when the old man at the farmer's market insisted she take a small dozen of his eggs, her heart didn't know how to process the emotion. All she had said was, "this is my favorite place to buy eggs when I bring my wallet." Then he motioned to the usual sales person, his apparent daughter, a woman about the age of Martha, who Martha had always liked, and out the woman puled the eggs. "Give her the small ones." He said, but Martha kept saying "oh, no! I can't take your business. You put so much hard work into this and it is your livelihood and you probably just break even." Martha kept saying no, but the old man kept his stance. He would not take no for an answer, and when Martha finally, reluctantly grasped for the bag, she became flooded with a well of emotion, and blurted out "I had just been kicked off of disability. I am so grateful."

The old man looked at Martha and smiled kindly, thinking he was proud of his family and his farm, and he never knew when it would be that something he could give to someone literally saved a person from starving that day. Martha looked to him a well dressed woman with a clean hair cut, and he hoped this bumped her safely from this lost paycheck into whatever she found next. He had faith in God that he was doing the right thing, which was one thing he never questioned. And just maybe God's self looked down approvingly because of what a good hearted person the old man truly was. Even in absence of God, there was no questioning how deeply kind the old man was.

Thanking the family again, Martha stepped down the line of tables to the next farmer, whose eye looked at her in a reserved way and she wondered for a moment what that man thought about her, since he likely had over heard the whole conversation. Martha could feel the rushing emotion like ground water in her soul, and it was getting higher and higher for a while, as she thought over what had just happened in this generous act, and also felt a blush form on her creased face and wondered what she was showing in her expression. Then Martha tried to dial back the feeling, and it amplified, and she almost cried a minute until she breathed in deeply and it calmed a bit.

This was different than the kind friend of hers who always gave her new outfits, who had given her the nice flowery blouse that was currently on her back, and on second glance, the everything she wore from head to toe. No, that friend was probably the most generous person she ever had met up until this farmer family, but somehow her obtuse giving didn't touch what had just happened to her. Part of it was she imagined the old man and his family really needed the sale money more than even Martha who had, as mentioned, just lost her disability, and didn't know what might happen when the final check ran out at the end of the following month. In her rose many different feelings: anger at the doctor who should have looked more deeply at the fact she still was struggling vastly before reporting her healed, embarrassment at the fact that her face was nearing tears, the gut wrenching feeling of thankfulness, and the sense of wonder at the circumstances at hand.

Martha drove home trying to keep steady on the road, to not let the emotion push into her driving ability. In the house, she sat down in an arm chair in her room, leaned back, and just shook her head over and over again, like how can this even be real? I just don't understand? Nodding no at the puzzle of life. She breathed deeply in and out until she felt a bit more herself, then she stood up and began to clean her room. The laundry in the box she kept, but all of the other things of any worth at all, she began carrying out to her yard where she posted a bold sign "free to anyone who needs it." She pulled out her record player onto the porch because she knew some people prefer using those and she generally played music on the computer. She put out new text books, a new comforter set in it's packaging because she hadn't really needed it, a colander because she could just scoop out the pasta with a spoon, all of the things that she really didn't need. I have all I really need, she thought, humming to herself with improved happiness.

For a while she was scrambling up some eggs in the kitchen, just leaving her belongings out for the taking, because she had a gurgle in her stomach. People seemed to be rolling their eyes and thinking her crazy, neighbors laughed and chucked as had carted heavy objects out, walking sidewalk exercisers crossed to the other side, not knowing what to expect. But when Martha was just salting and peppering the eggs, she heard a little bell outside, and "oh my" and "what a great thing" and "this must be a mistake." So she went out on the front porch to see who had noticed her give away. There stood a stranger, a young man holding the colander, with his beat up bicycle propped against the railing. He had an intense look in his eye, a bit confused, and fully joyful.

"You can't really be giving this away? I have been eating only pasta and I don't have a strainer at all. I just moved here and I don't have much to speak of." Martha grinned at him but stayed quiet a minute, and the stranger, stopped in his tracks, and said "oh this must be a joke. Or maybe you meant to write Yard Sale?" "It's absolutely free. I am sure!" Martha was so glad to give away her colander strainer, and a soothing feeling came over her.