I suffer impatience. Possibly the worst thing wrong with me. Wondering how to balance. The obvious answers are silence, breathing, meditation, journaling, exercise, time, additional space.

At Berea my life mentors invited me into a home of contemplation. Prior to 2011 I had dug a lot. I had written a lot. But in their basement I found quiet. There were some sounds, shagbark hickory nuts dropping on the deck outside. Dripping rain. My mentors living their lives up stairs. My own noises.

Then times of music streaming out of a computer, or too much horrible TV, or chatter on telephones, even screaming sometimes at my mom because I was somehow still in pain. Perfection does not come over night. It doesn't come.

Today I learn something about my impatience. I can make a basement studio like that in my soul. I can draw on my inner quiet. I can wait a week for a day and a month for a week. I might wait forever and in waiting something of peace is lengthened. Our ability is strengthened.

The voice in me says, limit yourself. If your mind requests an hour, take five minutes. A rule hard to follow for the excited of us. Control of self comes counterintuitive.